A Review of Teresa Tomeo’s “Beyond Me, My Selfie and I”
Selfish
Here’s a book that I though I could sink my teeth into, at least at the outset. Catholic author Teresa Tomeo, who has journalism experience (as do I), has written a screed about the perils of social media and just how narcissistic it has become. Beyond Me, My Selfie and I: Finding Real Happiness in a Self-Absorbed World is the kind of book that has been written for these Pokémon GO times. At the risk of sounding like a Luddite or an old man waving his cane to get those pesky children off his front lawn, the book — at least, at the outset (do I repeat myself?) — gives readers something to chew on as the times they are a’changing and maybe not for the better.
Tomeo posits that our craze for taking countless selfies in order to find true love and self-worth in the world is doomed to be a failed experiment. (Of course, the only way to happiness is through God and Jesus Christ.) However, the book is less of a road map for readers wanting out of the social media maze — even though it boasts mid-chapter quizzes for self-reflection that seem more pulled from an issue of Seventeen than anything rich, sadly — and more of a tirade against those who are completely, well, selfish. The targets are easy: the couple that kept taking pictures of themselves on their cellphones while Tomeo and her husband travelled in northern Italy, Kim Kardashian and her book of selfies called Selfish, and the secular media that feeds into this particular craze. Still, Tomeo’s message feels important and relevant.
Tomeo is definitely onto something and taps into a sort of concern about how we are using technology (not very wisely). I totally agree with a lot of her assertions — at least, at the outset (there I go again). I don’t take selfies, but reading this book caused me to go to a prayer meditation session at my church just to get out and connected with “real” people. And it’s that kind of connection that I find myself craving. It’s far too easy to constantly be checking in with my Medium stats counter to see how many of you are reading these things that I write, and I know that I check my smartphone way too often before going to bed — a habit I’m trying to break out of. So when Tomeo rails against people taking pictures on amusement park rides without a concern for their own and other people’s safety, I’m with her. I’m totally with her.
And then she had to bring homosexuality into the argument.
Now, I don’t know what being gay has to do with the phenomenon of selfies, even after reading this book, but the idea that mainstream and social media somehow played a role in making gay marriage a constitutional right in the U.S. pops up about halfway through Me, My Selfie and I. And I’m baffled really. Even if there was a media link to homosexuality, I don’t see how being vain on social media has anything to do with accepting one’s sexual orientation or not. Tomeo rails here that Pope Francis’ “Who am I to judge?” comment has been taken out of context by the secular mainstream media. What does that have to do with a book ostensibly about social media, other than describe the echo factor of social media mirroring the mainstream one?
You know, it’s funny. Tomeo seems unaware of or oblivious to her own biases. She challenges readers to go out and devour Catholic media to get the real message. (Which, you know, has its own slant on things.) She trumps up one Catholic radio network in this book. Turn to the “About the Author” page at the very end of the work and — surprise, surprise! — that same radio network produces a show that the author hosts. Um, yeah. It’s just kind of humourous, because with Beyond Me, My Selfie and I, Tomeo kind of accuses her readers of blindly following the media, social or otherwise. Pot kettle black, much?
I’m really disappointed with the homophobic elements or chapters of this book, which would have been better served with being completely severed. To people such as Tomeo, I want to say that if Jesus came back in 2016, he would have come back as a gay man to teach us all a lesson. Love is love. Sure, homosexuality goes against a prohibition somewhere in Exodus. So did working on the Sabbath. We all know how Jesus felt about doing good deeds and working on the Sabbath, right? Some rules were meant to be broken as time and culture moves on. What was true 3,000 years ago just doesn’t work in today’s context, unless you want to take Tomeo’s advice to the most literal extreme and go live in a cave somewhere without your cellphone — or any of our gay and lesbian friends.
Despite that, I do agree that social media has gone crazy and we need a bit of restraint, which is what Tomeo successfully argues in the first third of the book. I’m totally with her there. I’m not sure who is going to heed her call to do more works for others, though. I’d imagine this is already self-evident to most Christians, and those who are not are probably not going to read this. I found that the book also petered out (pardon the Apostolic pun) toward the end, not offering much in the way of example of how to live a virtuous life in the world of social media. Tomeo’s a journalist. I can’t see why she didn’t go out and interview a few people and draw on more concrete examples of how people practice their faith. (Those that she draws upon tend to come from secondary sources, and only to bolster the “Internet is lacking” argument.) Instead, Tomeo calls for more personal reflection. That’s nice, but sometimes a reader wants something a little more than that: someone leading by example.
All in all, despite the strong arguments and brisk read of the book’s first third, I found Beyond Me, My Selfie and I to be a bit of a dud. It sounds an awful lot like a late era baby boomer decrying that the world is changing and for the worse. I do agree that people seem more self-absorbed and utterly rude these days in day-to-day interactions, such as in line at the coffee shop, and maybe social media plays a part in our daily interactions with others. But if that’s all you’ve got to say, you come across as a complainer just adding to the problem. In the end, there’s not much depth to (or solutions in) this book, which is too bad. It makes what could have been an awful important statement, something that just whimpers and is about as self-indulgent as a copy of Selfish. Basically, you can take a pass. After reading her somewhat passive-aggressive commendation of homosexuals in this book, I sort of wish that I did.
Teresa Tomeo’s Beyond Me, My Selfie and I: Finding Real Happiness in a Self-Absorbed World will be published by Franciscan Media on September 9, 2016.
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Zachary Houle is a resident of Ottawa, Canada, and was the recipient of a $4,000 arts grant from the City of Ottawa for emerging artists. He has been a Pushcart Prize nominee, too. He also is a music critic, with music writing publishing credits in SPIN magazine and the Ottawa Citizen, among others. He is a member of First United Church in Ottawa, Canada, and has been so for the past two years. Houle is interested in anything having to do with deepening his newfound faith in God, so, if you’re an author, feel free to get in touch. Contact: zacharyhoule@rogers.com.
