Book Review: “Hemlock Island” by Kelley Armstrong
The Isle of Terror-ible?
Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? The early reviews have come in for Canadian writer Kelley Armstrong’s new standalone horror novel Hemlock Island, and they haven’t exactly been kind. Trade publisher Kirkus says this book is “a mishmash of mayhem, with wilderness adventure, supernatural phenomena, environmental activism, teenage angst, and #MeToo feminism all vying for the whiplashed reader’s attention. Hard to imagine the audience for this.” Ouch! Publishers Weekly is a bit more kind, but notes that “the supernatural reveal, when it comes, is a bit rushed … and leads into a slightly unearned climax.” This goes a long way for me to say that I’m not the only one who questions the artistic quality of the book. I have good things and bad things to say about it, but I’m getting a little ahead of myself. This is one of those novels that is trashy and meant to be fun — though how much fun might be a matter of debate. This is also one of those books that might have worked well as young adult fiction if it weren’t for the fact that the book is very gory in parts. So gory that even Stephen King might blush. So, Kirkus is right in suggesting that the audience hasn’t been thought about too much for this book, and Hemlock Island might have been better off being only for the amusement of its author. Perhaps it could have stayed on her laptop or whatever tool she uses to write. But saying that might be churlish, and I don’t want to be.
What’s the book about? It’s about a thirtysomething woman named Laney who has been gifted an island in the middle of Lake Superior by her ex-husband. To pay the bills, she rents out a home the two built there to strangers, who usually manage to desecrate the property. When she gets a complaint from a more responsible tenant who complains of blood dripping down a closet door, Laney sets out to investigate with her teenage niece, Madison, in tow. Joining her on the island, is her female ex-lover, Jayla, and Laney’s ex-husband Kit, along with Sadie — an uninvited guest — and her police officer brother Garrett. When Laney starts to play detective, weird stuff begins to happen, and things (quite literally) go bump in the night. Soon, dead bodies begin to be discovered and Laney and her cohorts find they cannot get off the island. The corners eventually get painted to the point where no place is safe — even the house built on the island.
I’ll be charitable and discuss what’s good about this novel first before getting to my criticisms. First, I know you’re not supposed to judge a book by its cover (and please don’t with this one), but I really like the atmospheric cover art — even if it’s an obvious stock photo image because the house in the picture doesn’t match up with the house as described in the book. Two, the book is a bit of a nice no-brainer read in its opening chapters (until you start skimming through it to get to the good bits). This is the sort of thing you’d want to curl up with in a warm blanket in front of a fire on a cool autumn day. Three, the ending, even if Publishers Weekly found fault with it, features a particularly strong villain and is gripping — at least when it isn’t aping directly from something out of a later period Hitchcock movie. (You’ll know which one I’m talking about when you get there if you wind up reading this thing.) The other thing that is nice about the book is that it throws in a few queer main characters: Laney, for one, is bisexual. You don’t often see queerness too much in mainstream horror fiction — gays and lesbians are usually relegated to the background (or chopping block).
What’s bad about the novel? Quite a few things. For one, it’s overlong. This is the sort of thing that might have made a better novella — as the novel has lulls and feels padded in places. There’s also a problem with consistency: We’re told that the island is five acres in size, which isn’t particularly large, but the characters seem to find places to go off exploring. Third, the characters are rather one-dimensional and exist, in typical horror novel form, to be knocked off in gruesome ways. Fourth, the author frequently breaks the show, don’t tell rule by having explanations for things put in gratuitous dialogue. The characters sure like to also talk about their feelings for one another, which is a bit unrealistic given that their lives are in constant danger. Finally, the characters also act in unbelievable ways. For instance, when Laney discovers a dead body that belonged to someone near and dear to her, do the other characters offer condolences and inquire into Laney’s emotional and mental state? No. They’re more concerned with preserving a crime scene for when the cops invariably arrive. And it’s also not clear if the island has cell phone reception. I’m assuming not, but then why hasn’t Laney prepped the house with a satellite phone? Surely, that must have been needed to rent the place out, especially given that there’s a large cliff that renters seemingly have a problem walking off of.
In the end, Hemlock Island is a disappointment because the payoff takes too long to come. It feels more like an amateurish first draft than something a bestselling author (which Armstrong is) would write. I don’t mean that to be a personal attack, but that’s just how I feel about this novel. The book was probably rushed into production because its plot capitalizes on the recent pandemic, and the publisher may have been looking to strike while the iron was hot. Admittedly, there is a time and a place for bubblegummy, disposable reads. If you’re in the mood for something that you won’t have to think about too deeply, Hemlock Island may be the perfect book for you. Even though I wasn’t too impressed with the read, there’s bound to be someone out there who is going to enjoy this novel immensely — any book can become someone’s favourite. Alas, Hemlock Island is for the undiscerning reader. Its intentions are not to be high art, but surely it could have been better edited. To that end, ladies and gents, this might be one island that you should be wary of visiting unless you’re the kind of person who likes to be thrilled by thrills alone and like books with no deeper meaning. There’s not much to this, which is why I ultimately recommend taking a pass on it.
Kelley Armstrong’s Hemlock Island will be published by St. Martin’s Press on September 12, 2023.
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