The Sad-Happy Ballad of the Fox and the Owl

(Narrator):

Here is an imagined talk between a fox and an owl
It’ll probably make you laugh, it could even make you howl
But it’s about a subject that you could find to be very fowl
Because the fox has caused our dear friend to have a scowl

Let’s listen … .

(The Fox):

I wrote you a poem as my way of simply saying hello
But I was feeling quite down and wanted you to know
That deep inside me, you’ve made me feel all aglow
I hoped you might respond before Fall turns into snow

(The Owl):

What were you thinking? You really come across as a jerk!
Even you have admitted that the two of us won’t work!
I don’t care about your feelings, so please don’t you smirk
I don’t need any kind of stalker who simply wants to lurk

(The Fox):

I didn’t mean to offend you, my intensions were pure!
Is this how you feel? Are you honestly quite so sure?
Know that I’m amazing and am just trying to be demure
The pot was something that I really wasn’t trying to stir!

(The Owl):

Okay, okay! I might have been somewhat a bit smitten
I thought it was clever, the poem to me you had written
But I worry that in your den you too often are a-sittin’
I also worry about how you might have treated your kitten

(Narrator):

Now here is a feeling that our dear fox should inspect
He might want to treat others with a lot more respect
That includes wasps, which is his least favourite insect
If not, look at all the lives he might cause to be wrecked!

Going on …. :

(The Fox):

I’m sorry! Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to cause any shit!
I just wanted to say “hi” because I thought I cared a little bit
Yes, my cat — when I was mad — was something I hit
I’m sorry about that straight from my stomach’s aching pit

(The Owl):

You see? You see? That’s precisely why this should end!
I think that you’re scary and can’t handle having a friend!
If you want my attention, it all will have to depend
You see, you’re still healing; your heart’s on the mend

(The Fox):

I have to admit that what you’re saying is really quite true
I can sometimes get depressed, and I usually feel a bit blue
But if I were to care about a woman, could that person be you?
You now have me in a tizzy, what on earth should I do?

(The Owl):

I think that before you start to stick your pole out and go fishing
You might want to think first about what you are wishing!
Consider what you spew and the feelings you are dishing!
Don’t go breaking hearts — they’re not something for squishing!

(The Fox):

I’m sorry! I’m sorry! What on earth have I done?
You’re deeply offended; I was trying to have fun!
Now I am feeling that I should go out and take a run
I also do feel like blowing my head off with a gun!

(Narrator):

I’d like to interject and tell you that from our dear fox’s side
I doubt very much that he really wants to commit suicide
But one thing he’ll have to swallow and that is his pride
If he wants his dear owl to not be so cruel and very snide

Let’s go on … :

(The Owl):

See what I mean? I think that you might too often feel down
You get too depressed when you should be more of a clown
You’ve got to make a smile whenever you feel like a frown
If you want to take someone like me for a night on the town!

(The Fox):

I don’t know why you’re upset when I was trying to be clever
It’s like you’ve created a trapdoor and have pulled on the lever
Can’t we be more than friends? You can even say “No” or “Never!”
Because I just don’t want to wait around for a response, like, forever!

(The Owl):

Again, you can’t see and this is why I have to simply sigh
If I said “No,” your response just might be to have a good cry
I’m not sure if you might turn out to be a swell and decent guy
If you want a response, a better attitude you should try

(The Fox):

Oh? Seriously?

(The Owl):

Ahem! (Cough, cough.) Pay attention!

(The Fox):

Okay, okay! But can’t you see what I was trying to do?
If I wrote anything wrong, I should have asked more about you!
I think I’ll join my pack and make my famous beef stew
You and your mind! Do you think all I want is a quick screw?

(The Owl):

That’s it? You’re leaving and want nothing more?
Are you sure you want to go and slam shut that door?
I’m really quite tired and am feeling so very sore
Don’t forget that I am a woman who is not afraid to roar!

(Narrator):

And so here, dear reader, we leave you in the lurch
Will this unlikely pair ever go on a date to church?
One thing’s for sure, and I don’t mean to besmirch
That poor fox from enticing our owl off her perch!

(To Be Continued … ?)

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Zachary Houle

Book critic by night, technical writer by day. Follow me on Twitter @zachary_houle.